Love is a profound aspect of human existence. Everybody wants love. There is a desire in each one of us to connect with another and intimately – however nuanced our individual expressions of love maybe.  

And yet when true love is a many splendored thing – why do people find it hard to find love? And when people do find love – they flee? Or deny the love? Or hide? 

This is because true love seeks itself inside of us.

Love leads us to ourselves – and brings us closer to our authentic self. A relationship with another exposes those ‘ugly’ parts we hide so well from ourselves and others. When our fears and anger and guilt are exposed we feel weak and unprotected. 

So to a part of us love is scary.

We know deep down that when our walls and defences are allowed to fall – something in us will change forever. We will be lurched into the unknown and be forced to face our fears – and change.

It is why people resist love. It is why people avoid love. It is why people run or hide.  

There is no other powerful way of loving another than from an authentic self. But to experience love with an authentic self – we need to become aware of the walls we instinctively put up in response to love. We need to learn to be vulnerable – and negotiate with our defences and soften them. By dropping and softening our defences we invite ourselves to a profound love and intimacy not only with another but with ourselves.

With another, we are able to see and feel what we couldn’t, left on our own.

We can go as far with another in love as we allow ourselves to. The further you allow yourself into authenticity – the deeper the experience of love and connection with another. 

When you are vulnerable you are dropping into your authentic self. Only an authentic self is able to engage fully with life. Such a self celebrates each moment. Such a self can take the risk for love – the capacity to feel exposed and left bare and naked – when his or her emotional defences are allowed to fall and dissolve.   

So don’t be afraid to drop into your authentic self for the sake of love. We live once and so love deeply and fiercely.

Radhika Mia